I Hate Muffins! But I Love Making "Niente: The Movie!"

Ernie writes-

Uconn Stamford: best...shooting location...EVER! For the most recent scene, we shot in a room at Uconn Stamford that was completely surrounded by windows. We could shoot from just about any angle and we didn't need a lighting team. Not to say that we don't love our lighting team, you guys are awesome and I want to make passionate love on top of you all while you sing the national anthem to me.

As always I won't divulge too much detail about the premise of the scene but it did involve: a panel of straight laced, conservative board members of a high profile corporation, an incompetent fo-tan rocking, torn suit wearing, thong hanging...out of pocket...man. Also there was a kid from the mail room named Philip. Incidentally, be sure to look for Veratech's new home-use product, which is also named Philip.

Now, as far the actual set goes. There was nothing really out of the ordinary:
-A guy wiped off the sweat from his face with a thong.
-Another guy threw a muffin into his eye to express his hatred for the pastry.
-Tom had sex with candy bar that had his face on it and Dany filmed it.
-Igor drank an entire box of coffee, chased it with some pink pills, stripped down naked and proclaimed himself the new Prince of the Purple Heart Mucus Cousin.
-While I, Ernie: The Virtuous One, was awarded 28 nuns for my services.

All these facts are inspired by true events. Wait...what?

Anyway here are some good photos from the shoot:

I Will Always Love You

Ben writes-

I've been noticing lately that there is a very clear and distinct difference between the lyrics to love songs written by men and women. In simple terms, women tend to sing about kissing and cuddling, whereas male-written songs are basically just fancy ways of saying, "do me" or "oh man I wish I could do her". Here are some examples:

Women:
A moment like this
Some people wait a lifetime
For a moment like this
Some people search forever
For that one special kiss
Oh I can't believe it's happening to me
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.
-Kelly Clarkson

"My Heart Will Go On"
-Celine Dion
sorry to have reminded you of this one.

Men:
Come take control, just grab a hold
Of my body and mind soon we'll be making it
Honey, oh we're feeling fine
You're my medicine open up and let me in
Darling, you're so great
I can't wait for you to operate
-Marvin Gaye

For once I can say
This is mine, you can't take it
Long as I know I've got love I can make it
For once in my life
I've got that someone who needs me
Mmm...hmm...hmm...
-Stevie Wonder
Stevie Wonder's getting some? Really? This one's not really so much about sexytime other than that part right at the end.

And someday I'll put my... ...goodies... ...in... ...you... ...woman...
when a man needs a woman
they make things like you, my son.
-the Beach Boys

Oh the things I do for you....

Igor writes-

Live twitter feed from the last shoot:

8:00am
Grand Central is warm and smells of old goat's milk.

8:25am
Camping outside of a building. Camera police. Still smells of goats.

8:45am
Goddamn it Tom.

9:00am
Coffee!!

10:25am
Where are we again? Bugs bunny time. Ernie says "foot china" or something.

11:00am
Clouds. My arch enemy.

11:01am
Rain. My arch enemy.

12:00pm
Sammiches. Chris just poked his head out of a trash can. This bodes well.

12:02pm
Possibly arrested for stealing a Fordham trash can.

12:40pm
Subway time. Goat smell has increased since last check.

12:45pm
Seriously, Tom. Goddamn it.

1:30pm
Enough already, Tom.

2:00pm
There is a man in a lawn chair playing techno with roller skates. People are dancing. It is strange.

2:02pm
Ernie says "roller sandwich piano". Or something.

2:03pm
Fuck Tom Stroll.

3:00pm
Lightning, my arch enemy.

4:45pm
Missed the train due to stupidity.

5:00pm
Train; dr;unk'; WOOIOOO:":P{POO!1

5:05pm
Bewbs.

6:00pm
I owe some guy $50. I don't know why.

6:03pm
Smells considerably less of goats.

6:04
This is all Tom's fault.

Caught That Candy Bar! And More!

Ernie writes-

Well we've just completed the 1st of a two day shoot. This is the opening scene to "Niente: The Movie." The scene has been entitled "Catch That Candy Bar," what ensues in this opening scene is a chase around Manhattan and the object of desire is...you guessed it! A candy bar! Not just any candy bar, but a Chock Full-O-Stroll candy bar. The performance was fantastically executed by both the cast and crew, I only wish mother nature was as kind to us. We had to duck in out of buildings to save the equipment from certain liquid downpour. I'm talking about rain, so get your mind out of the gutter! Despite this, it was still a great shoot. Unfortunately we didn't have any snap shots from this shoot, as we kept a very minimal crew. But, I have just received some pics of me preparing to become Sir Rutherford Welch from this past May when we were shooting in London. Enjoy!









These photos were made possible by our Camera Operator Alan Smithies. Thanks Alan!

Look for a new shoot report a week from today! Maybe even a few posts from Igor is he's done blowing off some steam.

New Vlog Entry!

Ernie writes-

For the current vlog entry we see co-writer and co-director of "Niente: The Movie," Igor Zhukovsky, blowing off some steam after a hard day of work on the set. Enjoy!:

Another One in the Bag!

Ernie writes-

We have had yet another successful shoot thanks to so many awesome people. Our crew has expanded and our equipment has gotten sexier. And by sexier I mean more sophisticated. New lights, new sound equipment, larger crew and fantastic actors just makes for super happy fun time chinese food buffet only $9.99 and all you can eat.

Literally, we had a incredible shoot. Tom, vocally, kept things a float. Igor, obstreperously, paraded around in a dress and wig. This all, existentially, touched my immortal soul and made the shoot go swimmingly...RAH!

This is all very confusing, I know, but don't worry it'll make more sense once you see "Niente: The Movie" in 2009. For now, please enjoy these stills from yesterday's shoot:







P.S. Look for the following coming soon:

-New Web Comics!
-Another Vlog entry.
-And small little web updates you'll never get around to look at. Even though you said you would. You bastard!

Vlog Time!

Ernie writes-

To keep all of you updated on how "Niente: The Movie" and other projects are progressing, we've now put up a video player that will feature vlogs. Essentially they will be short clips of highlights from the set. Sometimes we'll have interviews or even trailers. The first two videos are up now. Have a look see:



We'll be posting new clips regularly so it'd be awesome if you subscribed to the show or to this blog to find out how we're progressing. Tootles for now! Brake our legs for the next shoot this Sunday!

The Glorious Nation of Poland

Ernie writes-

Well, Igor flexed his directing muscle for yesterday's shoot. This is a brief scene but the actual shoot was anything but brief. This was due to the complexity of certain shots, the distance between each set, the heat and holy crap that freakin' humidity! It had to have been 100 degrees Fahrenheit and 99.99999% humidity. I could swear I felt the resistance from the water as I walked! Although the shoot lasted a bit longer than we had hoped, the result was well worth the pain anguish. We got a fantastic scene done, and it wouldn't have happened without the help of everyone who was there, especially:

Jamie Russo-For being there to help out on the biggest shot of that day.

Kate Brody-For providing us with props and costumes that made this shoot complete!

Dany Rauccio-Without her, the Polish Navy would no vessels, the Frenchman would not be French and Steve wouldn't have those pretty eyes.

Lecco Morris-Chaaaaaaargge!

Alex Williams-Whose clever strategy of shooting unarmed Pols gave him victory on the battlefield.

Ben Gawle-Whose heroic deeds will be remembered for all eternity in the hall of warriors. FREEEEDOM!!!

Steve Kompar-Who had to put up with Tom's hedonistic desire to rub dirt all over Steve's body.

Dan Gorka-Who risked serious injury to do a stunt and then repeat it for two more takes.

Parker Bonnell and Ana Collins-If it weren't for them, we wouldn't have the awesome production stills that we got. Here are a some of them.







If you can guess by the title. This scene has something to do with Poland being glorious. But specifically what, would be telling. There are plenty of stills on the way as well some other much needed updates. Look for a new shoot report next Monday!