The Monthly Telegrapgh (Mar '09)

It's month three of me living in Ernie's dark, leaky basement. I'm enjoying myself quite a bit down here. I found a gold mine of fungus and mushrooms growing around the water heater down here. They are truly scrumptious little things. I particularly love when I find small morsels trapped in my mustache from time to time. They make for a fine snack treat!

Anyway, one day I was getting especially anxious in this wonderfully humid dank so much so that I began eating the drywall. To calm me down, Ernie bought me a device called an iPhone. If you don't already know what an iPhone is, it is a audible/mobile telegraph that can fit inside your pocket. It fires signals up to the cosmos that are then reflected by a fine china dish floating in the heavenly realm, back down to this flat blue planet we live on. It is a popular method to communicate to other bi-peds like you and me.

Besides this, it also has a mobile web for spiders, a miniature victrola, a miniature movie theater and I recently acquired a very small bird called twitter which I have inserted into my iPhone. You see, I tell this bird what's going on in my life and this small bird tells others of my exploits. When I write "I'm taking the GREs." I may bump into a chum later who might say, "A little bird told me that you are taking the GREs" and I'd say "Yes, my little twitter must have mentioned that!" It's marvelous what you can do with birds these days! In my time they were used for hunting runaway worms or sent into coal mines for sport. Perhaps even on occasion as an aphrodisiac.

If you would like to follow my birds tweeting just click here and do so my friends!

http://twitter.com/SirRuthy

Please enjoy these two videos by my dear whom I hope to be friend, David Lynch:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eruvQY5_jFU


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKiIroiCvZ0&feature=related