10 Steps to Better Blog Posts

Igor Writes:

1. Always write top 10 lists.
It's quick, it's easy. You don't need to put any thought into it or even follow a particular subject. Plus, people can skim it if reading isn't really their thing. You can use other people's material without being accused of plagarism!

2. Use material that everyone already knows about.
Nobody wants to see original material. Anyone can do original material. But if you recycle things that people have already seen and are sick of, you'll seem legit.

3. Throw ads into your blog posts.
It looks more proffesional and your fans will respect it, especially our fans at Illberto's Clam Palace in Benoit, Michigan. Illberto's: Great seafood for a great price.

4. Pictures
Use lots of them. They don't need to be related to what you are writing about, but they will make your post seem longer and impressive. They will assume that you had to write a lot of code. Make sure you take them directly from another website. Feel free to stretch them to any size you want. Just because a picture is pixelated and misshapen doesn't mean it won't be effective. If all else fails, lolcats.


5. Ask for money.
Don't be afraid to be shameless. Your fans know that you only write a blog for the cash. Treat them as customers. They owe you.

6. Ignoer things like speling and grammer.
noone is paying attension dont worry about punctuation and things: waste of time

7. Racism can be useful.
A small element of racism makes your blog stand out, and brings in niche readers. Don't be afraid to use it out of context. Asians are smelly.

8. Abuse sites like Digg and Reddit.
Tell all of your friends to sign up for three accounts. Instant traffic with no reprocussions!

9. Respond to comments.
Don't take any shit. If anyone offers criticism, whether or not it is warranted, take the time and effort to discredit them. Call them gay. Make sure you flame their blog. For added effect, threaten legal action.

10. End all posts as awkwardly as possible.
Fuck off.